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At some point in our lives, we all have to face the reality of losing a
friend or family member to death.
The idea of losing someone we love, however,
makes most people feel uncomfortable, confused, and afraid. Yet only when we
face death can we truly understand the value and meaning of life itself.
At Butherus, Maser & Love, we understand that no one grieves in the same manner,
and death rituals vary from culture to culture. We are honored to assist in the
celebration of your loved one’s life and to help you find comfort during the
planning of the funeral, the visitation or wake, the service, and long
afterward. |
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Funeral Services |
 Why
have a Funeral?
Introduction -
At some time in our
lives, most of us will make or assist in
making funeral arrangements for a family
member or friend.
The funeral is an important ritual. As
difficult as it may be to face, most of us
accept death as an inevitable part of life.
Today, a dignified funeral ceremony and
opportunity to say "good-bye" to the
deceased remains an important part of life.
Your funeral director will help you create a
meaningful funeral ceremony by discussing
your options, guiding you through the
arrangement process, handling many details
and giving you the information necessary to
make decisions.
Unlike most consumer transactions, funeral
arrangements are often made at an emotional
time. It is important to understand exactly
what kind of merchandise and type of service
you will receive for the price you pay. Make
sure you ask questions about options that
are not presented, as your funeral director
will do whatever possible to help. No two
funerals are exactly the same, nor should
they be. Personalize the funeral by
discussing with your funeral director how
you would like your loved one to be
remembered.
Although the exact nature of funeral rites
and ceremonies can differ greatly from one
culture or religion to another, in many ways
they have remained the same throughout
history.
Value of a
Funeral:
- Acknowledges that a life has been lived
- Allows mourners to remember and honor their
loved one in a special way
- Serves as a central gathering place for
family and friends to give emotional and physical support one another
- Helps survivors to better cope with their
grief and enables them to move forward with their lives
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- Provides closure for the bereaved
- Initiates the grieving process
- Confirms the reality and finality of the
death
- Encourages mourners to face the pain of their
loss and express their thoughts and feelings
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When Death
Occurs - Nothing adequately
prepares you for the initial shock of a
loved one's death. Feelings of panic and
helplessness may be overwhelming, but it's
important to know you are not alone. It is
important to reach out to close relatives,
friends and professionals for the help,
support and comfort you need.
In some states, a doctor must be present to
declare a person dead and state the cause of
death. If the doctor isn't sure of the cause
of death, or if the death may have been
caused by suicide, homicide or an accident,
the county medical examiner or coroner may
be called.
Call your funeral director and clergyperson
right away, regardless of time of day or
location. Immediate assistance and guidance
from your funeral director will be extremely
valuable to you, especially if you are faced
with the added difficulty of making initial
arrangements from a distance.
Family and friends should be notified. Call
immediate family members first—parents,
grandparents, children and siblings of the
deceased. Again, do not worry about waking
others. Grief researchers say those close to
the deceased feel left out if they aren't
told about death immediately.
It's not necessary or practical for you to
call every family member and friend. News of
a death travels quickly. Rely on others to
make sure everyone is notified. Although it
may be difficult to do, telling others of a
death is therapeutic. By saying aloud that a
loved one has died, the death is confirmed
in your mind—an important step in the grief
process.
So Much To Be Done - The
emotional impact of death often makes it
difficult to concentrate on the overwhelming
number of details associated with planning
the funeral and taking care of the
deceased's estate. You will find your
funeral director's assistance extremely
valuable as you move through all activities
associated with a death.
You and your funeral director will need to
plan the funeral carefully to make sure it
expresses your wishes. Include your
clergyperson in the planning from the start.
If you don't belong to a church but want a
religious funeral, your funeral director
will suggest a clergyperson to officiate.
Experts estimate funeral directors conduct
and coordinate more than 200 separate
activities in just two or three days in
preparation for and during a funeral.
Services of Funeral Directors:
- Transport the deceased person's body to the
funeral home
- Secure information for and file the
certificate
- Meet with your family to discuss arrangement
options
- Help you choose the place, type and time for
the visitation, service and other arrangements
- Arrange for aftercare services to help you
through the grieving process
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- Help you select a casket, outer burial
container, urn, memorial stone, marker or other items
- Advise you about other decisions to make,
such as choosing pallbearers and arranging for flowers
- Help with necessary paperwork, including
obituary notices and a variety of government benefit claim forms
- Help you notify the deceased person's
employer, attorney, insurance companies and banks
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A Final Note - During the first few
days after a death, you are surrounded by
family and friends. You are busy planning
the funeral and may not have time to think
about yourself until later when you are
alone with your grief. After you've planned
the funeral, take care of yourself.
You can expect to experience a wide range of
emotions. Grieving is hard work, and you may
feel tired and lethargic without
understanding why. Lighten your schedule if
you can, eat healthy foods and exercise to
renew your energy. Take time to be alone
with your thoughts, but also spend time
talking to close friends about your loss.
You need to express your emotions.
Ask your funeral director about aftercare
services available to support your needs
during this time.
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